New Years Resolutions.

So this will be my first post of 2012. I think it's only right to write about my new years resolutions. I know everyone comes up with resolutions, and some work, and some don't. I am one of those people too. I make them, then like a week or so later I break them. I try to come up with feasible, or obtainable goals, but I end up breaking them. Well I kinda started my new years resolutions last year, towards the end of the year. I'm not saying that it hasn't been hard, because it damn sure has been for me. So my top two resolutions were: lose some weight, and quit smoking. I actually have been losing some weight. I have been, with Melissa's help, controlling my portions, and not snacking as much. This has been really hard. I love food, and I love snacks. Chocolate, candy, just all that. Slowly but surely, I have been able to cut my portions, and snacks down. I am not starving myself either. I still do get snack and treats, just not as many as before. You can't just deprive yourself. It doesn't work. You will always be thinking about it. You can have a little of what you like. This has helped me, and Melissa.

A little portion is OK.

Now, on to smoking. I have smoked for 16 years. I have tried in the past couple of weeks to cut down, and then cut down, then quit all together. I have failed this a couple of times already. I have broke down and bought a pack or two, or three, and have smoked them like I use to, like a chimney. This is probably the hardest thing like this I have ever done. I do get mad, and disappointed in myself, but I have read a couple of articles saying slip ups will happen. I know other people feel the way I do when it comes to smoking. I just sometimes feel like I am the only one going through this. Or that this is only affecting me this bad. It feels like my body is being drained slowly of energy, concentration, just everything. I have read that this is normal, and other people feel this way. It is somewhat comforting to know that I'm not alone, but goddamn, is this hard. I cannot believe this tiny little thing has so much control over my body and mind. I am trying to go "cold turkey" people say that is a lot harder. I get that, I do. But my personality is all, or nothing. I can't just have a little bit, I need to have a lot.  I am trying and I am gonna try harder to do this. The longest I went with out smoking was, 72 hours. I am going to break my record.

I hope that maybe this give you some inspiration, or even if doesn't, know that you are not alone trying to fulfill your new years resolutions.