Monday 9/7/15.

 It's weird, I talked to my old supervisor today and it seemed like he didn't want to talk to me. Well that's fine, just remember, you owe me. I conveyed to him the importance of him answering any phone calls due to him being my reference. I told him that I would stop using him and he said no that's okay, you still can. Are you sure? Is that too much of an inconvenience to you? Cause it sure seemed like it. What sucks is, these last two jobs I had an interview with, he is my reference. So he and I are basically, stuck for these ones. I am definitely not using him anymore for my next applications. So my interview with the job I want happened. I can't get my hopes up at all, but I'm always thinking about it. Lately, it seems like I just need something positive to think about. My new building is soul sucking and if I think about what I lost, I get pissed and stressed. I do know what happens when we get our hopes up though. And it normally doesn't end well. Sometimes things work out and sometimes not. I try to not get stressed and have anxiety, but it's super hard. Sometimes I catch myself not even enjoying what I used to like. That's no way for anyone to live. Saturday night, I felt anxious, nervous and I had a huge headache. I barely got sleep and it was a long day. Why? Why did that happen? So I got to work and it was fine. Sunday night, I got home from work and I was able to relax and enjoy our night. It still feels weird to me, working on Saturday and Sunday. It feels even weirder, coming home and actually having time with Melissa. We normally wouldn't get this much time together because of our schedules. I like spending time together and it makes me happy. I know that if I got a new job and schedule, we would be so much happier. But again, right now that's risking too much on a hope. I don't know the point of this post, but I guess writing some issues down, helps.