Back In The Saddle Again.

  I have not been on blogger in so long! It's way overdue. I have been listening to a podcast called New Mindset, Who Dis? Podcast check it out it's pretty cool. Anyways, listening it's saying that just do you and what you want to do. I love blogging, I just stopped and haven't thought about it for a long time. Well, I'm here now so let's go!

    I have been through a lot of stuff in the last couple of months. My life has changed in more ways than one. I'll get into it, but for right now I want to talk about the growth that I have been doing lately. I am finding myself and who I really am. What do I like to do? What do I want to do with my life? I am still figuring all that out. I have recently been forcing myself to go on these day trips. Seeing all these new places and visiting old ones again. Through this journey, I find myself no longer forcing it, I'm looking forward to it. 

    I conquered the Deception Pass bridges. I have driven for hours to just see a waterfall. I conquered my fear of ferries. I hiked 7 miles on the Diablo Lake trail! I love taking photos and I have been taking a lot of them lately. 

    I was so scared of this bridge when I first went there that I stopped halfway, held on to the railing, and wouldn’t let go. I had to get out of there. Well, I don’t know how long it’s been, but I went back and I was going to conquer it no matter what how I did it. Yeah, it’s still scary as shit, but I just walked and looked around and I did it. I even stopped halfway to take that selfie you see. I knelt down and took more pictures. 

    I felt proud and accomplished of myself. I was there by myself, no one was with me. I have been trying to get used to being on my own now and that’s still really hard for me to adjust to. I have made a hotel reservation for myself in Ocean Shores. While I’m down there, I made myself a tattoo appointment and I might be driving to Oregon too. I have a lot of fun stuff planned, it’s just waiting for those days to come while I’m stuck at work and not wanting to be there. 

     I still fully believe that everything happens for a reason and you might never know the reason, or it will take a while for you to figure it out. I still have a lot of questions about everything that has happened and I know that I need to make a closure for myself, no one else will be able to provide closure. I could ask my ex tons of questions and she might be like I’m not telling you shit. So what would that do? It would make it even worse than it was. So make your own closure. MAKE YOURSELF HAPPY! No one is going to do it for you. It’s hard, but that’s really the only option you have. I try not to dwell on the past, but for me, it is easier said than done.